ClumsyMonkey.net

according to turner, the english major, it's not "shat".... it's "shit"

and it's definitely not "shats"

ah well, it's all part of the fun of The Johnathan Show

So what's this I hear about MORE misadventures?

One involves my Les Paul Guitar..........

Go on..

Johnathan! More misadventures! You're losing your fans! (Not really, just kidding.. but not about telling us more stories).........

Okay here it goes.

First a little backround info.

You see, my room isnt the exactly a big room. I mean my TV, stereo, my Guitar amp, My bass Amp, my effects pedals, my guitars, my bed, my nightstand and my dresser take up 95% of my floor space. So I basically all I have is walking space in my room.

So....I get a new guitar and I bring that bad boy. I play on it for a long while and then I stopped playing. Then I realize that I have no room on my floor for my guitar. No room anywhere. The only space that was free was my wall but I didnt have a wall mount.

So I decide that I am going to play carpenter. I go out to the garage and find some wood from my old mans wood pile.(He took up woodworking) So I'm out there working on my stand for about an hour and a half. When I was done, I had managed to make a wall mount. I was happy. It was crude but it was effective(or so I thought).

Well...I bring it into my room and I screw it on to its place on the wall( which is right above my bed, above my waist) Low and behold it stayed up. So I pick up my guitar and place it on the stand. It worked!! I was happy!! I wanted to make some more but i got too lazy and decided not to.

So two days go by and everything is well......cept for the fact that the stand was coming off the wall slowly. You see, when I screwd the mount into the wall, i stripped the hole in the wall and the screw had no way to stay in. Then the weight of the guitar slowy pulled the mount out and on an angle. So.....my guitar had no way of staying put on the stand. SO it slowly it started to slid off the stand. Then during the night it fell off the stand and landed right on my twig and berries. I was like OOHHHHH!!!!!!!! AHAAHHAHAAAAAA!!! OWWWWWWWWWW!!!!! and I rolled outta bed and curled up into the fetal position and was holding my dong. I layed there in pain for what seemded like hours.

In my mind I was like What in the hell happend So i regain myself and I get up........and look around to see what the hell happend. Thats when I notice that my guitar is not on the wall!! It was on the bed.

I'm like

I go in closer to inspect the stand and thats when I notice the stand. It was tilted!! I went from this to in a instant!! I ripped that mother fucker outta the wall and hurled that sumbitch down the hall!!






Needless to say, I dont work with wood anymore.

...as i said before, you're my hero.

haha, my johnythan!


you're my hero ^972983623876

Johnny keep these stories away from the TV producers or their eyes are gonna light up like winning slot machines

Johnathan.. I think I'm in love with you.

I won't be in love with you, though, if you keep hurting your genitals - as you will quickly become infertile.

Your not so secret admirer,

I really didn't find it funny... but I will laugh to be kind.

hahahahhahahaha!

You just need to screw it into studs next time, not the drywall.

Johnathan wrote:my nightstand and my dresser

brighteyes!



great story by the way.

even I knew you're supposed to find studes...

STUDS

..... what?