ClumsyMonkey.net

curtman16 wrote:... Most girls in high school aren't that great either

even me?

curtman16 wrote:*Lori rocks my socks*

Woo hoo, i rock curtis' socks.

My latest attempt at a song:

It’s been six long years
Since I’ve seen the sky
It’s always cold and gray
Like the Emptiness inside

But at least the memories
Hasn’t rained on my heart in quite a while
But it looks like it’s going to open up
And wash away my wall of denial

(Chorus)
Yeah, here comes the rain
Bringing back the memories
Oh here comes the pain
With every drop that falls on me
The past is soaking me to the bone
Reminding me of what I left behind
It’s coming down even harder now
And it’s driving me outta my mind
Here comes the rain

There is no shelter
From the lightning that’s coming my way
There’s nothing to keep me covered
And it looks like the storm’s here to stay

The floodwater is rising
And I feel myself going under
The deafening voices of the past
Beats on my thought as loud as thunder

(Chorus)
Yeah, here comes the rain
Bringing back the memories
Oh here comes the pain
With every drop that falls on me
The past is soaking me to the bone
Reminding me of what I left behind
It’s coming down even harder now
And it’s driving me outta my mind
Here comes the rain


There's more...just haven't figured out what yet

curtman16 wrote:^Positive, positive, grrrrrrr
I'm pessimistic at worst, or as I think of it, realistic. High school consisted of mostly idiots wandering the halls, teachers who knew less about their field of study than I did. My parents were always bickering. I mostly associated with people three years older than me at least because they were at least interesting conversation. I had braces, glasses, and over half of the school thought I was gay just because I was intelligent and used big words on a regular basis. No my friend, for me, high school was probably 3rd crappiest time in my life, only to my parents divorce and my dad's remarrage.

See you have a problem of looking at life negatively. It's like you automatically look at the negative side of things before even trying to be (here's that word again) "positive". It's not being realistic. It's just a feel sorry for myself and think the worst of the world attitude. Basically you rely on the negative aspect of everything because you are more comfortable with it because you've been there. You can't enjoy life being pushed around or being weak enough to let other people's opinions or comments damage you. It's just something you gotta break, almost like a habit. This goes for High school too and it's completely true. "Life is only as bad as you make it." Other people don't decide if your life is bad or good, happy or sad. That is completely up to you, no one else. Your life may be worse than some people's on the CM, but then look at the people in the poor countries, the kids in Iraq that Raine and Chantal went to visit. The only realistic thing about this is that, these kids live in poverty, disease and war. Their lives truly do suck, but I'm not asking you to feel sorry for them. WHY? Because they wouldn't want you to. They are some of the happiest people in the world. Living in those conditions. There is pain and suffering and they know that and it hurts, but they have to move on and make the best of what they've got. Now if people who live in little tin huts, have missing limbs etc... can be happy with what they have then we should learn to be happy too. I can't remember who said it, but it was a very powerful and completely true quote.
"Depression is only an act of selfishness. You'll never see a depressed blindman, but those who don't have control of their lives are the ones who are truly blind."

It makes so much sense because, yes depression is an illness, but it is a self inflicted illness. I'm not saying you are depressed, but anyone who can honestly talk about the bad things in life over the good and say that it truly is mostly bad is a person who really has to take control over their life and wake up. Life's not that bad. It really is only as bad as YOU make it. Bad things are going to happen, people just have to learn to cope and deal with it. Not say "my life sucks because this happened to me". Going through life like that isn't even living.

I'm sorry if this seemed like I was bitching at you, I wasn't. Everyone has just given good examples with their posts over the past months. So I used "YOU" to make it sound more direct. This was directed at everyone who has the right to complain, but really shouldn't.

^How does one respond to that ....
hmmm....

Lando wrote:That is completely up to you, no one else.

I agree with this, my problem has always been I just can't BE happy; it doesn't work that way. I thought I could for a while and I just felt horrible, faking something that wasn't what I felt. Being happy is such a wonderful feeling, but its not something that you can just will.

and

Lando wrote:then look at the people in the poor countries, the kids in Iraq

Yes yes I know, I just vented/whined a little bit;

and

Lando wrote:I'm sorry if this seemed like I was bitching at you, I wasn't.

don't worry about it, but yeah, it did seem a little like bitching directed toward me.

My most sincere apologies.

May I interject?

I know many people, that I am very close to, who suffer from depression. I think there is certainly a genetic factor, and that sometimes changing your philosophy on life is not always enough.

As someone who had her last high school class yesterday, I can testify that it was a great experience, even if it was full of some miserable experiences.

Sometimes it is forgotten that we are learning, maybe not about algebra, but certainly about relationships. It is amazing to grow _with_ someone. That's the best part of high school.

Now that I have had that experience, I know a lot more about myself and the type of relationships that will make me happy. --- certainly which ones will not!!

Think about it....even the most amazing men were "high school boys" once lol. Without obstacles, living would be worse than bad...numb.

Since this is purely poetry:

UPON LEAVING MY LAST CLASS TODAY:

My epitaph
A conic graph
My parting gift
A growing rift
Memorial:
Factorial
My next path
College math

Solve for generation X

[

"How Long (Loss of Innocence)"

You were never sure,
but you never minded.
You stood above,
but wasted below.

I smelled the infest of hate in your skin.
I thought of the old days, would they be again?
I never expected what came out.
I wanted to run, but I was trapped.

How long?
How long would I hold on?
Because I began to lose you

You tried so hard to be nice,
but in the end, it didn't stick.
I tried to understand you,
but we both knew it wouldn't work.

I looked in your eyes and saw emptiness.
There was only wonder, could you survive yourself?
That was not to be, not at all.
I tried to help, but I failed.

How long?
How long would I hold on?
Because I began to lose you

I looked
I smelled
I touched
I tasted
And there was...
Loss of innocence

How long?
How long would I hold on?
Because I began to lose you

How long?
How long would I hold on?
Because I began to lose you

"Midwestern"

Courthouse on Main Street's closed,
same with the hardware store.
Small towns don't live, they die.
And the old people, they sit and cry.

But young stallions, they triumph,
as death gives freedom to them.
They'll run away, through the grass,
down the road, towards the rocky pass.

There's no hope for the old times anymore.
The time has come and gone, town's lost the war.

Can't the old people see what they're doing?
They can't -- the eyes are old, cracked and weak.
They'll peer through at their children,
but never catch them repeating their sins.

Midnight they all break out loose,
all hell smashing free.
They're ripe, they're cool, they're cocky,
As they drive their cars into the Rockies.

Some come back, and some don't;
the smoke rises from their engines,
The windshield cracked, the oil spilt.
The kids, they drove, they drove past the hilt.

There's no hope for the old times anymore.
The time has come and gone, kid's lost the war.

"Someday"

Pushed
into a point of no return
Got burnt, got shot
you made me spurned
You say you're in emotional distress
but maybe you should've thought
should've said something else
before making me feel like I was less

Someday you'll want a hero
someday you'll want a savior
someday you'll need me
and I'll be long gone

Now look at the mess you've made
all the troubles you've created
all the times you procastinated
the rent is due now, honey
There's going to be no slack cut
because you put me in a rut
if I wasn't enough of a person for you
why should I be the one to pay your due?

You pushed me away
you tried to lead me astray
and now it's time for you to pay

When I was there,
when I wanted to help
you swore at me
yeah, you pushed me out
if only things stayed how you wanted
instead of things swinging my way
maybe then you'd be okay
yeah, maybe...
Or maybe not

"Shiny And New"
I wonder how things got like this
where I managed to find
friendliness
in a random moment of time
I didn't think of how friends could grow
and how friends could mend
give warnings, have a thousand hands
to lend

I didn't know how people could stand me...
Cuz I'm always complaining
to me, the sky's always raining
but never washing sin away
I'm too young to be someone's hero
but I'm too old to just run and play
and that doesn't matter to you
because to you, I'm always shiny
and I'm always new

I thought about how life works
bringing it's ups, downs,
and the occassional glitch and quirk
sometimes for the good,
sometimes for the bad
sometimes to glimpse things I want
and sometimes to recall the things I had
But you're standing there still,
with a short time of understanding
under your belt --
I don't think there's anything like you --
I didn't know how good that felt.




I'm just a little songwriter in the making.

How old are you? I definatly think those are great and very creative lyrics! And if thats just in the making then the years to come are gonna be HUGE. Good luck with poetry!

Please Appreciate This

Nothings There

A Killing Spree a knock on your door
A shot fired banged to the floor
A hallway a steady sin
A nice man will you let him in?

And you Will
Yes You...Will

A Race car the right track
A ground vibrates a concrete crack
A jungle theme a lame way
A Nice man he wants to stay!

And He Will
Yes HE...WIll

This levitated hunger feeds inside
he only needs a place to hide
Greatly holds you up on the floor
He shot inside the window's door

As you see the bloods collapse
you can hear his feet tap
as the sirens get so near
you open your eyes nothings there
nothings there

A round tree the early staging
An everythings co-agulating
a great scar this may leave
THe emotion sickness its to weave

And It Will
Yes It...Will

This levitated hunger feeds inside
he only needs a place to hide
Greatly holds you up on the floor
He shot inside the window's door

As you see the bloods collapse
you can hear his feet tap
as the sirens get so near
you open your eyes nothings there
nothings there

You can stand up anytime
its been alright the nerves chime
Greatly addicted to memories
all in one, no catorgory
All in one, no catorgory
All in one, no catorgory


This levitated hunger feeds inside
he only needs a place to hide
Greatly holds you up on the floor
He shot inside the window's door

As you see the bloods collapse
you can hear his feet tap
as the sirens get so near
you open your eyes nothings there
nothings there

NOTHINGS THERE NO NOTHINGS THERE NO NOTHINGS...there

LIAM wrote:How old are you? I definatly think those are great and very creative lyrics! And if thats just in the making then the years to come are gonna be HUGE. Good luck with poetry!

I dunno if you're talking to me or stloki... but I'm just 16... well, almost 17.

And, oh yeah, I dig Nothings There. Very... blood-pumping. Sounds like a great rock song, just by reading those words. <-- Sorry, closest to the whole "RAWK!" headbang smiley that CM has...

We need a headbanger smiley...

The Truth about Wesley

Wesley drinks pee
so does me
Wesley eats poo
so does you
Wesley likes rocks
you have chicken pox
Wesley isn't smart
He once ate a dart
Wesley looks at rubies
I wish there was a word like floobies
or boobies

Brilliant, just brilliant. You are a poetic genius.

Lynnever wrote:doofy0910: I like it

stiloki: amazing

Lando: all the power to ya my fellow Physics-liker

Captiania: your poem . . . beautiful

Curtman: *gets a big hug*

Highschool was certainly interesting.

I like big hugs *hugs Lynnever*

Ray: that was awesome. I especially loved "Midwestern" -- so perceptive and beautiful.

LIAM: very cool. I can totally feel the tension and passion in your writing.

Lynnever: hehe thank you. I am Keats meets calculus lol . Have you posted that poem you rewrote into couplets, cause that was amazing?!