Question on guys

Rusty · Post by **Rusty** » 11/25/2004, 8:57 pm

Joey wrote:easier said then done
love is complicated

Lando · Post by **Lando** » 11/25/2004, 8:58 pm

You'd think that, but if they can't accept completely that it's over, then that's how the awkwardness arises. Even with communication during the relationship, things will change drastically after a breakup, so it's not always enough.

Post by **xjsb125** » 11/25/2004, 8:58 pm

Indeed. I suck, and I probably wouldn't date me. :-/

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Joey · Post by **Joey** » 11/25/2004, 9:00 pm

unless it's a mutual break up, one person will more then likely still have lingering feelings for the other which will make it harder on them to just go back to being friends .. i mean how often do mutual break ups happen where both people agree at the same time, it would be better to just be friends

Lando · Post by **Lando** » 11/25/2004, 9:02 pm

Well, I know from personal experience and from others that even if it wasn't a mutual breakup it works. It's all about both people moving on. You can't have one not move on, then the feelings will linger. You may always feel something special for the person, and they could feel the same for you, but if you accept that you've personally grown and moved on, then it almost always works.

Joey · Post by **Joey** » 11/25/2004, 9:04 pm

i haven't stayed friends with anybody i've dated

Lando · Post by **Lando** » 11/25/2004, 9:05 pm

Then neither you, or he could move on, or were willing to work at it. It takes more effort after a breakup.

Lando · Post by **Lando** » 11/25/2004, 9:09 pm

A lot of it also has to do with compromise. You often have to say to yourself, Did I have something really special with this person? And is it worth Salvaging. You have to decide if having this person in your life is worth it at any level. If they're really important to you, then it's better to have them in your life as only a friend, then to not have them in your life at all.

dream in japanese · Post by **dream in japanese** » 11/25/2004, 9:12 pm

oh man, i suck soo much at relationships

i used to be on the loser streak (only dating guys who ended up hurting me), then i just started to not really care if i was in a relationship or not and then i ended up being the person who was unintentionally hurting other people

i quit.

closeyoureyes · Post by **closeyoureyes** » 11/25/2004, 9:32 pm

I dated my best friend, from when I was fourteen until a few months ago. We're still friends, but we werent at first. Thats probably the hardest part. It doesnt always work out the way you want it to.

Rusty · Post by **Rusty** » 11/25/2004, 9:34 pm

We all make it sound so easy to maintain friendships or get dates. We all have to realise there are a lot of factors that intervene though, even if both people have moved on, it still might not work. Don't quit Dream In Japanese (sorry I don't know your name) but don't give up, you'll find someone soon enough and now that you're aware you hurt people by acting that way you can change it.

Joey · Post by **Joey** » 11/25/2004, 9:35 pm

you've been here long enough rusty, i think you should know everyone's name by now

shame on you!

closeyoureyes · Post by **closeyoureyes** » 11/25/2004, 9:36 pm

Personally, I think dating reeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeallllly blows.

I might be biased.

Rusty · Post by **Rusty** » 11/25/2004, 9:38 pm

Joey wrote: you've been here long enough rusty, i think you should know everyone's name by now
shame on you!

I'm sorry Joey, I used to know her name but I forgot it.

closeyoureyes · Post by **closeyoureyes** » 11/25/2004, 9:39 pm

pssst. Its Maria!

Joey · Post by **Joey** » 11/25/2004, 9:40 pm

aww .. take all my fun away!
i was gonna make him guess

Rusty · Post by **Rusty** » 11/25/2004, 9:44 pm

closeyoureyes · Post by **closeyoureyes** » 11/25/2004, 9:47 pm

:O
I'm sorry!!!

Rusty · Post by **Rusty** » 11/25/2004, 9:49 pm

Don't blame yourself I just read it another thread.

Joey · Post by **Joey** » 11/25/2004, 9:53 pm

CHEATER!