i run around with a whistle and hold ultamite power. you say dissent's not illegal, doug? in soccer it sure as hell is! yellow card, anyone? and i hold that sweet captivating power, all mine....
 
er*cough* 
 
anyway, i get to pretend i actually know the rules and yell at people when they prove me wrong. i also yet to be part of a large area of grass. rule number 097097, the ref is part of the field, so if he/she decides to kick you, then tough luck! well, not really, but you get the point.
i also get really weird sunburn lines from the shorts and socks....mmm, white on thighs, white on calfs, red on back of knees. yes, i know i'm sexy, don't have to tell me. *sigh*